Torn Between Two Loves

Miss Universe

Torn Between Two Loves

Tuesday night is always my night to kick back. I make sure nothing interrupts. The phone’s off the hook, the computer’s off and the Mrs Is out visiting friends…perfect.

I Crack a beer, find my arse dint in the couch and put my feet up. The remote is poised in hand ready to flick through all the channels that I deem worthy to watch. Usually, it’s a no brainer. But tonight I was torn.

Miss Universe. I don’t usually go in for these kinds of things. It’s a bit girlie for me, or so I thought…

I think it was the purple bikini’s that caught my eye, then what was filling them. Sure, all the girls looked the same, Miss Albania, Miss Russia… Miss Nigeria.

All I saw was big hair, boobs, hips and legs. I mean , of course there were some variations… bigger boobs, smaller waists, longer legs. Some boobs bounced quite nicely with that perky strut they do, others didn’t budge a millimetre… but as all us blokes know… there are only two kinds of boobs… real and UNREAL!!!!!!!!

My thumb got itchy again when the dancing Elvis’s came out, that’s like watching a musical and I’m not going down that yellow brick road, buddy.

Back to the usual Tuesday night viewing, Top Gear. Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. I have to admit I have a soft spot for Miss Diaz… and it’s growing firmer by the minute!

To see the way she handled a car on the track, pushing that gear stick around, screeching around the corners at high speed, and that filthy mouth of hers.( I love a girl who knows how to swear.) and I’m sorry… Tom who?

Ad break. I’ll just check to see what the ladies from around the world are doing.

Ahhhhh… just caught the end of the competition with one of the clones standing statuesqley at the front of stage in her crowned glory.  Who won? Which nationality is she? I can’t tell… “All look same to me”.

Finally the announcement. Miss Mexico… a South American sinorita. Hi yi yi. Gorgeous!!!

All I can say is… I’d love to put some meat in her Taco.

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