Double Jeapordy

I don’t really want to have to broach the subject that’s on every body’s lips.

But I’m sure you all feel the same way.

Our lives have been thrown into utter turmoil due to the fact that the Grand final has to be played again this week.

I was ready to get on with my life.

My girlfriend was looking forward to having me back on weekends. My morbidly obese dog was looking forward to getting the exercise he so desperately needs.

I was ready to don some new threads and shave my beard.

But now, for another week, that footy jumper has to remain my staple wardrobe and the beard will have to grow that little bit longer, I’ll let a family of sparrows dwell in it’s warm fuzzy goodness.

The tension in the air on Grand Final Saturday is a tension I never want to revisit. I’d prefer to meet my girlfriend’s parents at a swinger’s party than go through that again.

I couldn’t watch the game near the end. I had the cold sweats, I had to leave the room a lot of the time and fight back the tears.

I know what you’re thinking… “Oh, he must have bet a huge amount of money on the outcome…” Oh no. I’m not a gambler.

Hell, I got kicked out of the Casino one night…. I completely misunderstood the use of the “Craps” table.

It had nothing to do with Gambling. I just get very emotional at these sorts of events. It’s a love, a deep love…. Deep.

But like I said, our lives have been turned upside down. I’m Best Man at a mates wedding this Saturday. How’s it going to look with the radio earpiece

sneaking into my collar? Not so good.

How will I refrain my excitement when a goal is kicked?

“Does anyone here have any reason why these two should not be joined in Matrimony?”

“Oh Yes!!!!!!” I yell as an incredible mark is made.

…Awkward.

Realistically though, who cares? It’s another weekend of Footy.

It’s another repeat of the Footy show.

Ya can’t complain. I love me Footy.

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