BBC Hot Chicks

KATY PERRY

So, Katy Perry's songs might not be to your taste, but if you turn the sound on your telly down, her music videos are AMAZING!

Katy Perry got her start as a gospel singer, and subsequently bombed. In a brilliant marketing strategy, she lost the gown, busted out the cleavage and started singing songs about threesomes, partying hard in Vegas, and getting jiggy with her female friends. Instant classic!

And sure, we may not think much of her choice in men, but as long as Miss Perry keeps strolling around in her underwear, she's OK by us.

JESSICA ALBA

Only days after the Big Boys Club crowned her our September Hot Chick Of The Month, the Interwebs exploded with the news that Miss Scarlett Johansson had taken some nude photos of herself on her phone...and promptly had them stolen by some naughty, naughty person who decided the rest of the world should get to enjoy them too. Naturally, we're hoping we've set a precedent, and expect to see some saucy, leaked photos of this months BBC Cutie any day now! It's Hollywood's most yummy mummy, Jessica Alba.

Jessica Alba got her start in the early naughties TV show 'Dark Angel', giving 15 year old boys all over the world an excuse to lock themselves in their bedrooms or an hour every week...as if they needed an excuse. Since then, she's made nothing but trash...but holy crap does she look good while she's doing it!

We love you Jessica. Now, about those nude photos?

Scarlett Johansson

Those photos of Rihanna we came across last month (behave you!) were pretty tough to beat. But we think we've managed it. Scarlett Johansson is blonde, smoking hot and irrefutably rootable...so we've heard.

Miss Johansson got her break in the 2003 flick 'Lost In Translation'. We certainly wouldn't recommend sitting through the entire thing, but if you can get a copy, the movie opens with a lengthy shot of Scarlett's firm, supple, circa 2003 arse. Yum.

Since then, Scarlett has gone on to make a smattering of mediocre films, pose nude alongside Keira Knightley (another babe worthy of a BBC crown), and be frequently photographed wearing low cut shirts.

I'm thinking Miss Scarlett, in the library, with a pair of handcuffs, a giant bottle of baby oil and do not disturb sign on the door...and I'm sure I'm not the only one! (Ha! Board game humour!)

RIHANNA

I haven't got many jokes about our celebrity cutie this month. I'm far too busy staring at her titties!!

FACT: Rihanna is hot.

ANOTHER FACT: Rihanna is super, smokin, "totally want to tap that" hot.

THIRD FACT: Rihanna doesn't seem to have any issue with parading around in her underwear or a very hot bikini.

And even though we didn't approve when she hooked up with that douchebag Chris Brown, the relationship did produce some naked pics of her that have since been spread around the interwebs. That's the great thing about modern technology! The relationship is long dead, but the pictures of Miss Ri Ri's tidy little hieney will be available to the entire world forever! Thanks, Chris Brown...but we still think you're a tool.

I think you'll all agree that Rihanna is well and truly deserving of the title of 'Big Boys Club Celebrity Cutie Of The Month'. In fact, we're thinking about just calling it quits now and giving her the title for the remainder of 2011. I think I need a lie down...

EMMA WATSON

Ahhhh...Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. We used to just think you were adorable, but now we want to watch you in the shower. You may be a Gryffindor, but something in my pants is definitely a Slytherin!

Over the past ten years, we've watched Emma Watson go from annoying, little shit in the Harry Potter movies to one of the UK's spunkiest celebs. The fact that she hasn't been caught out on the town with no knickers (ala Paris Hilton), or released a saucey sex tape (ala...Paris Hilton) only makes her even hotter!

Brace yourself Emma Watson, as you receive an official Big Boys Club salute as our July 2011 Cutie Of The Month.

Ready, gents? Grasp your wands firmly. Erectus riseupeeus!!